ESFJs are typically thought of as…
Your 4-member party model (Fe-Si-Ne-Ti)
This post is done in the 4-member party system. It splits each of your cognitive functions into a character within your mental wiring. Think of it as your “adventuring party” that you have with you as you take on life’s dragons and quests.
Your “stack” (Fe-Si-Ne-Ti) is essentially the development level of the characters in your group.
The dominant function is the Hero. Level 30. It’s you and your heroic abilities.
The auxiliary function is the Companion. Almost level 30. It’s your “best buddy” and the one that’ll carry you to greatness when you can’t walk.
The tertiary function is the Newbie. Level 10. Don’t get too distracted by its playful and tempting allure. You need to balance the power between the Companion and the Newbie – if you don’t, you’ll miss out on powerful tactics.
The inferior / aspirational function is the Escort. Level 3 / AI. Help finish its quests for epic rewards.
This page uses information and backstories from the characters. You may want to read those before continuing. I’ll link below on each character’s name, share the Hero’s story, and also summarize the other stories.
Fe – Fearn the Cleric
If you are an ESFJ, your ability to create harmony within groups is what leads you. You love it when people get together and work towards a common goal. You make decisions based on what will best mesh or promote group values. You seek friendly social environments. Your Fe side is the Hero. You are a cleric – a Dwarf healer.
For those of us who are not ESFJ, Fearn Ironheart is the Hero.
When he was 20, Fearn’s town was invaded by Orcs, leaving both of his parents gravely wounded. Fearn cared for them to the best of his ability until their death. His mother was a teacher and his father was a singspeaker. His mother taught him much about caring for and weaning children into apprenticeship. He was always told that it was important for everyone to work for the greater good and set aside personal goals.
Old age and war took its toll on Fearn’s town. It was severely lacking healers to care for those injured in the constant fighting. He began studying herbs, potions, and magic to better serve his community. Fearn realized that he could use these tools to positively affect others. Not only could he heal physical wounds, but emotional wounds as well.
He has gained much respect within his community as a sympathetic caretaker. Now that his town is stable again, Fearn decides to expand his efforts to create a harmonious world. He sets out to find the group that will have the biggest impact in reuniting the broken alliances of Elves and Dwarves.
In summary, Fearn is trying to maintain and promote harmony in the world. Through intentionally interacting with values and people, he helps them fulfill their needs. Fearn is great at finding a common goal within allies and adapting to match them. This does not mean he has no values of his own. Rather, he sees a strong importance in melding with the group to promote the greater good.
This desire to be in harmony can also be a difficult path to follow. As a cleric, you may push aside your own goals and desires too often, leading you to not fulfill your own personal drives. “How can I meet everyone’s needs?” can be taken advantage of by other people. You may also see your inability to help everyone as a sign of weakness.
Si – Silemem’ri the Guardian
As always, a Hero needs a Companion to balance him (or her). In this group, it’s Silemem’ri, the guardian (Elf warrior). Silemem’ri pulls you back into the inner world and gives you awareness of a detached nature. With Silemem’ri, you can separate yourself from the external world to analyze your quest log. The quest log contains data from their past explorations.
This influence helps you see that sometimes you need to be selfish in order to help others in the long-term. Everything can’t be related to harmonizing the group’s goals. In order to grow as a Hero, you need to rely on your own values and seek personal development, too. Sometimes a Hero must do what nobody else can or will do. This means making tough calls about who to support and why.
Silemem’ri teaches you how to influence social dynamics through what has worked in the past and what hasn’t. He collects and analyzes specific details with a focus on reliability. These can have a huge impact on the hearts and minds of others. The details or the people helped could hold the keys to the treasure chest. You never know exactly how things will pan out.
Improperly used, Silemem’ri gives you a reason to stay home where it’s safe and the rules are clear. However, if you never explore, you can’t be a legendary adventurer. You and Silemem’ri do not complete an adventuring group, though; we still have two more members.
Ne – Nes the Gunslinger
Nes is a gunslinger (Dwarf hunter) Newbie. Hungry for new experiences and exploration, he can heavily influence the choices you make. You’re both Dwarves and speak the same language, after all.
Silemem’ri wants to stay in the known, comfortable world. Nes wants to get out and live through experiencing other possibilities. These can sometimes work together to, say, hunt every beast within a determined zone. They could focus on one interest and explore all the possibilities within it.
Without the input of Silemem’ri, Nes takes control. He encourages you to be an improvising socialite (social chameleon) overly concerned with showing your good side to others. This could lead to the dreaded flaky stereotype. Or, you might manipulate the situation to preserve your image and maintain harmony.
It always depends on how balanced the members are. A good balance allows Nes to be creative and seek a challenge while Silemem’ri analyzes the information. This would be creativity in the context of “How does this relate to what happened before?”
Ti – Tiroothian the Arcanist
The Escort in this group is Tiroothian, the arcanist (Elf mage). Tiroothian likes to analyze and check for logical accuracy. He tailors spells to affect the core of the beast that he is focusing on. By finding the perfect spell for the situation, he can expose the monster’s weakness.
A mindset that Tiroothian can bring to the ESFJ group is, “It doesn’t make sense to travel three days to help the farmer in another town with his boar problem.” Logical sense trumps emotional needs for mages. Without Tiroothian’s detached analysis, you would likely sacrifice your goals and progress to go to the town and help that poor farmer. It’s a noble deed, but not always the best quest for you to pursue.
If Tiroothian’s influence is too strong, it can lead to ignoring others when making decisions. In these moments of weakness, you push for logical truth over companionship. One problem is that Tiroothian is the Escort and his skills aren’t as good as yours. Arcanists are the mirror opposite of clerics, and it really shows when stressed out. This selfishness mutates into despair as you doubt your own abilities as a healthy leader.
A strong cleric (you) and guardian (Silemem’ri) work extremely well together to build a strong sense of community. You two help others get what they need to feel safe. Nes shakes things up and allows for unique approaches to dealing with problems. Through changing the dynamics slightly, you can find new methods of using your skills. Tiroothian causes many problems, but detached classification of ideas and concepts will ultimately benefit your style – it just take time.
With Ti, you maintain the ability to objectively observe and act on personal goals. Si gives you context and attention to facts and details. Ne adds a creative and exciting element to the your interactions. When in balance, you, as an ESFJ, are loyal, supportive of allies, and a fun, creative host.
Also, check out the solo model!